I know it’s been over a month since the last post, but hey…I can take a break, can’t I? This Monday’s post features the short song Small Talk, prod. by Yankes Productions. This joint is just one verse; just a little peak into my mindstate at the time. Kind of a snapshot into what I was feeling like exactly when I wrote the song. Basically, the content is similar to what I’d say in response to the question “How’s it goin’?”….hence the title, “Small Talk”. I’d say it’s definitely one of the more laid-back jams on the mixtape, but definitely one of my personal favorites. Just chill and let it play.

Hey….speaking of “Small Talk”, you should peep Small Talk at 125th and Lenox, an album from one of my favorite artists/inspirations Gil Scott-Heron. Here’s his Comment #1, an unfiltered, searing commentary on some very harsh realities of America:

“Small Talk”  Audio:

Lyrics:

“People ask if I’m still rappin’, I tell ‘em ‘Yes!”/They loved The Raptism but they ready for the next/Installment of the series, I Hope They Hear Me/That’s word to Dee-1, I’m feeling really, hopeful cuz people cheer me/I pray that someone feel me as I try to say somethin’/To some it’s a grind, but music’s my escape from it/So what you take from it, is entirely yours/I try to pay attention, it’s all I can afford/As I moonlight trying to make the truth bright/I never presume right, but I’d just as soon write/Down my thoughts on this pen & pad for songs you can listen at/And maybe a line or verse, you’ll remember that/I try to keep these flows on the low, so/I separate my life as a pro-fessional/Till a student hears my raps and says I should blow/No….well maybe so but I’m not entering the industry, you already know why/Or maybe you don’t, but baby I won’t/Cuz I got a wife and we making babies at home/……..Oh maybe not yet, I know you heard P.S./I’m turning to a Family Guy, no TBS/I know Eazy’s a mess but you’re entertained, yes?/I’m just trying my best to see that I’ll always be blessed/I’m just a son in the sun trying to find a way/And in the meantime, I’m hoping for a brighter day/This music’s a journey, a path that we can all walk/Together, it’s always better with small talk”

Be eazy.

Love is great. I’m man enough to stand behind that statement…also man enough to make an honest song about it  In rap, cats will make songs about love quite often – that of money, that of “the game”, of music…but honestly many of the traditional songs saluting the girlfriend, wife, etc. fall flat into an endless dribble of cliche’. You saw the link I included in the last post right? Yeah…there’s that. It’s more than just the fairytale euphoria though…staying in love is about…..well let me be real, I’ve only been married for 3 years so I’m still learning myself. Nonetheless, it’s my viewpoint on the love that I’m experiencing. Notice that there’s only one rap verse…the rest is spoken word monologue – old school-style. I miss the times when singers would talk for 2 or 3 minutes and really let the mood of the song settle in. Example 1   Example 2

Anyways, the instrumental on this track is the only “non-original”; it’s actually from Half-Forgotten Daydreams (John Cameron).  Some may remember it from the Nacho Libre soundtrack. It’s an amazing, cinematic instrumental that honestly, I just couldn’t resist interpreting myself lyrically. Peep the original by Cameron below, followed by the actual song For Lovers Only and the lyrics. Be eazy.

Audio (For Lovers Only):

Lyrics:
Forever in love, it’s not just a phrase to say/when going gets tough, I’m here for the day-to-day/Some cats are twisted, they think they can stay and play/But I won’t, I be thinking many men put they work before they wife/I mean, work before they life/I’m saying really c’mon really is it worth the sacrifice?/it cost to be the boss, every venture has a price/I don’t want it if it means I have an empty bed at night/Not to sound sentimental, I know grown men feel it/You’ve worked 12 hours to come home and deal with/The tug of war, between getting paid and love of course/It’s crazy, but remember all’s fair in love and war/But what are we struggling for? Because we in trouble…or/Is it because we want to be together forevermore?/I know that we better for it, it’s part of the dance/We two-step to the beat of my heart in your hands because you….don’t ….you don’t have to worry ’bout a thing

The original SheRosewas so well-received that I decided to do a remix of sorts, with a guest (the homie Dizzle from my hometown of Macon, GA) and brand new verses with a bit of a spoken word monologue to close it. Poignant storytelling…but listen for yourself! Lastly, one of my favorite old-school jams is by the group New Birth, it’s called Wildflower and shares a similar theme…it actually inspired me to write this song. Peep it, then audio of SheRose rmx and lyrics below.

Audio:

Lyrics
Verse 1:
I sat down and had this convo/With a women that was confused at first/Perused her hurt, and she became the muse for this verse/And she was fed up, with the brothas that messed her head up/To her surprise, I told her “that’s lies, I heard the story before/ If you really were done, then why can’t you understand that you are worth more/Then letting yourself be fooled by some game/These lames be kicking like pros”/She said it’s not her fault, I asked her why/She looked distraught, then her reply/Was that she should be able to trust in us instead of living a lie/I said okay that’s cool but even a pretender needs a fool/To believe him, I mean really they call it ‘game’ for a reason/It takes two to play/And then she say, whatever it is it’s foul/But birds can fly away and she can’t, I pause for a second and rethink/That maybe she’s just a rose stuck on earth beneath the clouds/She still needs some rain to fall before she grows and reaches full strength/I told her ‘peace’, went separate ways/and never saw her after that day/I wonder if she got her act together, I can only pray

Verse 2(Dizzle): She reached out and said “don’t leave, I swear to God you all I got/See my mama was an addict, I was molested by my pops/For years I cried inside, while this Negro climbed on top/I’m screaming ‘make it stop’, my mama steady smoking rocks/My granny said the Lord won’t give you nothin you can’t handle/I miss our conversations, she died last year from cancer/I got so many questions Lord but lack so many answers/In the midst of all this pouring rain somehow I feel like dancing/Cause if don’t I know sooner or later I’ll lose my mind/Lost my uncle, lost my aunt, lost my pops, lost my moms/So many people loving life, well tell me why I hate mine?/I tried so many times but failed miserably to take mine/I woke up in the hospital, they I’m lucky to be alive/I’m looking at life different like, I really coulda died/So now you know the reason why I act the way I act/You see that crack in that pavement? I rose from that”

Spoken Word: Young or old, rich or poor….a woman’s soul is complex and intricate. Delicate enough to be damaged from just a touch but strong enough to endure the roughest times. That strength belies her beauty; the will inside her truly radiates outward to inspire us all as she rises to the sun. You brothas can keep your rolls and fancy clothes, I suppose that’s fine but…I’d rather have a Rose, like She.

Shoutout to Freddy Fingers for his craftsmanship on this instrumental. “Good Man” is a spoken word interlude making fun of exploring the “good man” ideals and how appearances can be deceiving. I enjoyed making this one…lighthearted but it’s the truth as I see it! Nothing much to say except listen, share, and enjoy!

Audio:

Lyrics:

Word on the street is

There’s a shortage!

Like, we endangered species, the good black men are going extinct

What do we do?

Oh…his kind must be protected

Let’s put him in zoos to be gawked at, respected but ultimately neglected

Oh but, where are the good men?

Let some of y’all tell it

They exist merely in Tyler Perry flicks

Depicted by brothas like Shemar Moore…hmph.

Or maybe it’s that Hill Harper brotha

Writing Letters to Young sistas….hmph

No?

Well where are the good men?

Perhaps it’s that cat with the sharp suit on

Good job? Check.

Good credit? Check.

No kids and baby mama drama? Double check.

So you decide to date him, try him out

I mean, what’s the harm in seeing what this guy’s about?

Hmph…his disguise is out

So y’all go on a few dates for a couple of weeks

You know, to those places where “bougie” folks like to eat-

His treat -

After all, any good man is a gentleman

Then, after an especially delectable outing he takes you home

He walks you to the door and you both pause

Now keep in mind it’s been a few weeks and your knees are getting a little weak

Maybe from wanting him or

The alcohol you so obligingly consumed an hour earlier

what do you do?

You guess you can trust him right? Hmph.

You let him in your place

And then that sacred space reserved for someone special

Reasoning that if you’ve got the Softest Place on Earth

He’ll never wanna Xscape

Traces of Your Lipstick outline a night with no inhibitions

Like a dream

And you wake up and he’s missin’?

Wherever could he have gone?

Such a good man!

You’re sure he went to work early right?

Hmph.

You try calling him…cell phone

Hmm….that’s strange. You remember he left his business card

Surely, he’ll be at work being such a good working man right?

Uh oh. So by now you figure you’ve been had…

Ok, cool. Not the first, maybe not the last time

But…..at least it was fun

Until about a week later and you come across the realization that your monthly visitor is late

So all is not lost

In fact, he helped you add to the family

While subtracting himself

Woooow.

But he was such a good man!

Hmph.

If you’re a father, I salute you. If you’re scared to be one, I feel you. If you’re a mere sperm donor, I pray for you. P.S. II was conceived written based on something very close to me. I’ve wrestled many times internally about whether or not I’m ready to become a father…chances are there’s plenty of fellas that have gone through the same thing. First verse is from perspective of a child with an absentee father and how it affects his psyche. Verse 2 is me dealing with my own insecurities, and verse 3 looks at my own father as a towering, nearly unreachable standard of fatherhood. This song is a continuation of P.S. from The Raptism. If you haven’t heard it yet, check it out here for some background: http://eazy.bandcamp.com/track/p-s-2 .

After the audio + lyrics, check out some Youtube videos of my favorite hiphop joints with similar themes.
Audio:

Lyrics
So I feel like I’m a man, even though I’m still a child/Fifteen and never knew you, all my mama did was screw you/And I guess you havin’ the time of your life and livin’ wild/No regrets, not upset – I’m just sayin’ ‘I never knew you!/And my mama tries the best she can to raise a man/But it’s you I really need, please help me understand why/You never came by, to see about your son/Tears used to run down my cheek but now I can’t cry/Cuz I been hardened by your absence, the passage of time/Will make a mind grow callous, in the worst way/You never made my birthdays so now I’ve learned my lesson/No longer close my eyes in front of the cake just wishing for your presence/I mean that from the bottom of my heart but the truth is/If I saw you I wouldn’t know whether to hit you or hug you/So confused, all because I’m missing a piece to this puzzle/That’s how you feel when you haven’t got a father to love you

This is me talking right now, some issues of my own/Got some nerve writin’ ‘P.S.’ and saying it was about a song/Gotta own up to my own fears of being scared to drop a seed/Am I crazy, I mean really, what’s wrong with me?/I’m responsible but the man that I have grown to be/Is terrified to be a father, so I’m thinking, why bother/Tried to leave it at the altar at church one Sunday morning/But Monday I realized, I gotta face this for myself/Wife is saying now or never, family saying kids are treasures/But I’m not ready for my life to change, how do you measure/the preparedness of a person when the pressure seems to worsen/it’s like I’m ready but I’m not/like I’m racing against a clock/when I got goals and I got dreams that have yet to be achieved/must I put them on the back burner the moment we conceive?/that’s the problem though-it’s all I, I’m being too selfish/one time for anybody who remembers the day that they felt this

With all these insecurities I’m praying “God, grant me peace”/these demons I’m fighting, got me pacin’, got me writin’/when got somebody in you that I could strive to be/maybe that’s why I’m so scared because I can’t see/how I could live up to the standard that you’ve set as a father/could I nurture mine as you did? What’s the best that I can offer?/all the times that you were there for me, molded me so carefully/the times I didn’t listen, you and mama said a prayer for me/and I’d love nothing more than to do that for my seed you see/but I ain’t like that, I’m scared I’ll want my life back/and that’s not very fatherly, I know and so this bothers me/I know it’s wrong but these emotions are so raw for me/more than a song because these doubts won’t back up off of me/I’m not alone, but yet I feel like an anomaly/so I should probably end transmission right now/no more writin’ bout it, I gotta man up and face it/but thanks Pops….

Hiphop and Fatherhood

Little Brother, All For You (The Minstrel Show)

Lupe Fiasco, He Say, She Say (Food & Liquor)

T.I., I Still Luv U verses 2 & 3 (Trap Muzik)

Common, Retrospect For Life (One Day It’ll All Make Sense)

Tupac, Letter 2 My Unborn (Until the End of Time)

Be eazy.

Here’s a motivational speech by Charlie Chaplin in the film “The Great Dictator”…be inspired! I think the message here is harmonious with the general spirit of this song. Audio of song and lyrics are also below.

Charlie Chaplin’s Final Speech in “The Great Dictator”:

Audio:

Lyrics:

Hook: “Good morning it’s a lovely day/I’m sayin’ ‘man I gotta find a way’/I just wanna be extraordinary, I just gotta be extraordinary” (x2)

Verse 1: The irony of people admiring me is I try to be/Better than they’d expect from they pictures of success/Witnessing much stress and at times it gets grotesque/I never protest ‘cuz I know that I’m so blessed/Focus, with the dawning of a new day, I cherish the time/I date with destiny and marry the grind/Various times that I couldn’t see, my inner me had synergy/With He that lives within me, so my enemies can’t injure me/Humility is what I build on, I’m still a work in progress/I know my weakness so I’m still strong, real song/And I got bills due, not studyin’ no deals dude/The music feeds my hunger, I consider it real food/Spittin’ that real rap, it’s like they don’t even feel you/The industry will kill you before you reveal the real you/That’s why I’m looking at the world through my rearview/It’s just the frame of mind that I’m choosing to peer through

(HookX2)

Verse 2 (Praverb the Wyse): Tired of plain clothes, tired of kicking lame flows/Detail what’s inside, let the pain grow/Focus on the approach and try to save souls/I use my lens on the world and let the frame grow/Great expectations, no entitlement, life is a journey with canteen survival kits/Strive for education, achieve success/Dedication, yes! The need to be blessed/Spit real in a world without decency left/Make a living, millions speaking through text/So I dream large, wanting to be a screen star/Star on the screen instead of spitting some clean bars/Give praise to God when things seem hard/Pray for smooth sailings, but things seem scarred/I reach out during the time of need, thank God I survived the streets/Survive with ease…

(HookX2)

Verse 3: Magnificent, marvelous, maniacal martyrs/We die for the cause or just to harbor a harvest/Break backs to make stacks, then max and take that/And send it to whoever you owe just to pay back/Debts and student loans we been owing since way back/To keep that motivation I keep dreaming of Maybachs/I wanna be extraordinary but maybe I am already/I’m trying to be everything if you let me/And I’m gone…

I’d like to give a special shout-out to Panama Jackson of VerySmartBrothas.com for reaching out and hooking me up with this beat. Brotha is talented. As a matter of fact, you should head over to the site to check him out. Better yet, buy the book, authored by he and Damon “Champ” Young: Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas’ Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime.

Audio:

Lyrics:

“Living life upon the precipice, when times seem desperate/And destiny’s irrelevant when presently I’m wrestlin’/With trying to figure out what my purpose is, I’m searchin’/For a reason to believe that there’s a worth behind my workin’/'Cause the churchin’ on the Sundays gives way to the Mondays/I want that flight to Heaven but it seems they closed the runway/And some say I’m a role model, I’m thinking I don’t see it/’Cause my picture of myself it really has yet to be completed/As I sketch out my existence on this notepad, I hope that/These quotes add to somebody’s resolve to never go back/To the lyin’ or the stealin’, the dealin’ or the cheatin’/I’m just speakin’ bout some healing, some dismiss it say I’m preachin’/And they don’t wanna hear that – well tell me what the business is/You perfect? Good then grab a mic and speak into the listener’s ears/We all trying to make it through, and get that greater view/It’s just sometimes man it feels like I keep goin’ round & around

Hook: And round and round we go, it’s the days of our lives you gotta find your role/And round and round we go, you gotta stay on your grind to find your pot of gold (Repeat)

It’s amazin’, working hard to be an honest earner/While I’m slaving, trying to suppress my inner Nat Turner/Times a wastin’, I got too many things upon the backburner/To find my Truth, in this booth I be that Sojourner/By Any Means Necessary, till they X me/Trying to break free of these struggles that arrest me/Investing my time and money into this grind/I’m running too fast, ignoring the stop signs/And ironically I’m getting nowhere, I see folks passing me/Enough for me to lose it if it weren’t for these rhapsodies/I’d rather be an athlete, making millions happily/Wouldn’t we all? But God has got another plan for me/I guess and the best is, yet to come/These tests got me restless, gimme them drums/On that beat, it’s that heat that helps me get up on my feet/I’m just hoping that one day I get free

Hook X2

I speak up and I’m angry, stay silent and lose my sanity/How can I address my problems and not compromise the man in me?/So is it Kunta or Toby? The problem is the deepest/I wonder if it matters…do I still come out ‘de-feeted’?/And if you don’t get it, well maybe you ain’t supposed to/It’s just my vocals from what I’ve been exposed to/Having to go through hoops just to prove that I belong/I’m like Obama on Trump’d up charges- so wrong/Is how they do ya, I’m prepared and I’m ready/Knowing “Things Fall Apart”, word to Chinua Achebe/Heavy, loads is what I’m bearing supposedly/I could just make it through if I can keep God close to me/Within these crazy cycle of my life on the daily/Important I stay focused on my target, no delaying/And that’s just how it is, and that’s just how it’s gon’ be/Round and round we go, where I’m headed I pray I grow to see”

Not sure if I get it...

EVERYBODY SEEMS LIKE THEY WANNA BE RAPPERS.

Yep. Really! Such goes the opening line to track #2 “The Manifesto” from my mixtape. Unfortunately, not everybody can be a rapper, at least in terms of what one does for a living. I put myself in that category, and that’s ok. One might even say that I prefer it in some respects. I have a burgeoning career outside of music – a “regular job” , if you will – and I love it and where it’s taking me. So where does the music come in? It’s like this…music makes me happy, keeps me sane, and motivates me to continue whatever I do to sustain myself/family in my everyday life. So yeah…it’s very necessary even if I just “moonlight” as a rapper. So I came up with this song “Moonlighter’s Anthem” as an ode of sorts to that lifestyle. It’s a dedication to those who have regular jobs/careers but still recognize the need to do something else to feed their creativity and prevent themselves from losing their natural-born minds. I make music…some tell jokes, write poetry, hunt/fish, play sports, etc. Adamack, who produced “Salute” from The Raptism, provided the instrumental which I found both triumphant and brooding at the same time. Weird combo, but it works for me and the theme I was trying to get across. Enjoy!

Audio:

Lyrics:

(Hook)Now let me tell what this life like/A long way from the parties and the bright lights/I’m on a mission as I’m trying to make these tunes right/I got a vision this the anthem as I moonlight/ [repeat]

(Verse1) These for my people workin’ hard to keep a 9 to 5, and pay the bills/It takes some heart to maintain through the grind, now let’s be real/I know you dream and it seems that you never reach the things/That you mean to, and lean to your hopes and self-esteem/Theme of a worker, that stay movin’ like intertia/Feels like runnin’ and you runnin’ but you still can’t get no further/I know that I don’t know you but I bet you got some goals true?/I see that hunger comin’ from ya, here’s your soul food/Those who be searchin’ for that spaceship, relate to this/Be plottin’ on your lunchbreak on how you can escape it/Meaning the madness when things just envelop your mind/If your fiendin’ for happiness I bless your endeavours to find/Whatever it is, your passion you do on the side/Or if it’s your job, you workin’ the day and the night/This your song, this your anthem turn it way up/Overtime grindin’, I promise it’ll pay up/

(Hook x2)

(Verse 2): God grant me the serenity to change the things that I am able to/And if I can’t, keep me if I should have to forsake the booth/I know I’ve made a few bucks, I mean shucks it ain’t much/When in such a struggle to defeat my troubles and luck/Is all I have, plus some prayers and a pad and pen/To keep the peace that I can grab within/Some consume themselves with following these fads and trends/That’s superficial, I could never be as sad as them/Because I have to spend some time exploring what my passion is/Only got one life, there’s none after it/So I rap and spit, when I can/Record for the people with a long track record/And they try to get a job but they can’t/But instead of just rob, they be crankin’ out strong rap records/And the people at work, feeling like dirt/Dead-end job and ain’t got no worth/People in the gutter and the little baby mothers/Who just need a little hope man I got your verse/Got your song for the long way home/When you’re thinking ’bout life and you’re all alone/Forever I write just to right my wrongs/And I promise y’all my moonlight stay on”/(Hook x2)

MM#2:

Audio

Lyrics

“Everybody seems like they wanna be rappers/I know what you thinkin’- I am one of these rappers/At the same time, I am none of these rappers/I am one with the flow – they just some ‘wanna-be rappers/Not to condescend, but there’s a ton of these rappers/Playing on the mic, just having fun in green pastures/What I look like, trying to run with these rappers/Chasing money & the fame when really none of these matter?/My lines be off-center, I call ‘em sidebars/I wanna conquer the world, and then I find Mars/No matter if cash or lint’s in my pocket/If it’s bass in the place gimme space- I’mma rocket/Blast off to the rhythm, it’s the real you’ve heard/To the blind, this is braille you can feel my words (bump it)/Now how much longer I’ll be doing this? it’s Ludacris/My Peace is Disturbed, so it’s a disturbing piece it probably should be/I would be, doing a disservice if I service you with disses/Sounding listless and lacking a real purpose/No need to be nervous this is verses from wordsmith/Curtains cuz I’m certain, like I never heard the word ‘if’/Folks talking ‘gifted’ but they ain’t wrappin’ nothin’/Then talk slick cuz you can go and grab a gun/That sound like a hypocrite that’s quick to stab and run/Your career is in reverse and me – I only have begun/We all hypocritical, no lie I’m typical/Flawed individual, so every line is pivotal/Not kiddin’ you I know they wonderin’ whether I’m a gospel rapper/Like it’s a bad thing, and what does that mean?/First off, don’t ever put me in a box/I’m too well-rounded, ain’t no cornering my thoughts/Second thing, I thought that you would’ve known better/That if an MC had the realest flow ever, trying to Find his Forever/That you would have the Common Sense to respect it/If not, well then it’s your error/This is just the intro to show you what you in fo’/Hard instrumentals, writing so much my pen broke/Central, G-A, the Peach State, where we stay/Everyday, where brothas doin’ bids with no eBay/And we say, they lost souls from a tiny snotnose/Christians losing faith in folk, false apostles/Got good religion but religion got you good/Saying you follow Jesus but you never understood/(Good grief!) Such relief had to get it off my chest/Vexed, this my message made manifest/Yes, I’m inundated with flows to penetrate/So those that denigrate are just toast on dinnerplates/Please pardon my appetite, I’m eatin’ off this hunger/Dieting off that wackness, putting poems in practice/Exorcising these demons see I’m staying in shape/Till I come full circle and the cycle’s complete/That’s Square Biz, word to Teena Marie”

Be eazy.

I know it’s been a WHILE since my last post on this thing, but now that Moonlighter’s Mindstate is out for your enjoyment, I’m ready to start back posting again. One of the things that I’d like to do is spotlight each of the 19 tracks from the mixtape…giving you some background and lyrics to follow along to as well. So, here’s to Moonlighter Mondays…I’ll be posting a feature every Monday on a track from Moonlighter’s Mindstate. Here’s the first one, “IntroGroovin’ “, produced by the homie Slikk Tim. Enjoy & be eazy.

MM#1: IntroGroovin’ (prod. by Slikk Tim):

Song audio:

Lyrics:

“My oral illustration, be like pictorial demonstration to the blindest eyes/These Innervisions make you Wonder about the Key of Life/I guess I be the locksmith as I drop this/Preposterously, innocuous yet it’s obvious I’m from the Dirty/Yeah you heard me right/In every verse I write/Up until there’s nothing left, so then every verse is right–brained/ I’m in a state of mind so many others strain to find/A young Prince, always fightin’ with the Day and Time/Hmph…suppose I’m rhymin’ in a different lane/I want my songs to touch the sky – I guess I gotta make it ‘plane’/And though I’m scared of heights a brotha stay prepared for flight/While wrapped up in a groove that’ll soothe through them scary nights/My heart beats, every cadence is my blood flowin’/Air from the snare, the songs within me now growin’/So alive, inside the recesses of my soul right/This be that music that you play to get your soul right…”